MENI Theme- Anxiety and Inferiority
Recording Transcript
Kandy: I got very nervous and anxious when talking to professors and other students. Because I knew I was supposed to participate by speaking English, but I also knew that I was not able to express myself in English. Then I got so anxious that I could not even sit still in class. I did not know where to look when talking, and I would nervously tap my feet when sitting in class.
Lisa: I felt I was not good enough compared to other Canadian students or other international students with sufficient oral English capacity. I felt like Canadian students and I were not equal anymore when I could not express myself. When I could not say what I thought and how I felt, I felt weak among them. I think only when one can express oneself can one truly exercise the right to speak. And only when that person’s voice is heard can people really have respect for them.
Composing Process
In this piece, for the first half of the music I used a flowing piano melody with a contrasting range of note repetitions (in the middle range) to represent the unsettling anxious feeling experienced by the participant. I embedded syncopated high notes to relate to the anxious tapping of feet in class. Then I used a slower melancholy melody to communicate the sad inadequacy of the participant’s English proficiency compared to Canadian students or other international students. The descending progression swells to bring out key words from participants. I ended on a crescendo to further represent and communicate the magnitude of these anxious and inferior feelings, and the heavy consequences of the participant losing her voice and respect due to her inability to speak.
